Log in

Chub Life [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Chub Life

[ Liar | Present ]
[ Lies | Past ]

the last straw [Jun. 6th, 2008|11:42 pm]
[Fuck You |aggravatedaggravated]
[XTC |Lauryn HIll/ Immortal Technique]

Me(10:49:24 PM): hi
Alex (10:49:42 PM): hey
Me (10:50:04 PM): how come ur not at prom
Alex (10:50:45 PM): I DONT KNOW
Alex (10:50:49 PM): i really wannted to go
Alex (10:50:54 PM): but no seniors asked me
Alex(10:51:04 PM): i just should have pretended i was a senior
Me (10:51:27 PM): lol
Alex (10:53:40 PM): damn
Alex(10:53:44 PM): i almost got caught
Me (10:54:40 PM): doing wht
Alex (10:55:59 PM): i wwas going to the creek you know?
Alex (10:56:05 PM): and i almost lit up
Me (10:56:14 PM): lit what up
Alex(10:56:18 PM): and here comes this like parade of cops
Alex (10:56:23 PM): and i was like shit!
Me (10:56:34 PM): why was there a parade of cops
Me(10:56:39 PM): and wht were u lighting
Alex (10:57:04 PM): jack
Alex(10:57:07 PM): and i have nooo idea
Me(10:57:12 PM): oh psh
Me (10:57:21 PM): i thought u were talking about a j
Alex (10:57:52 PM): nah
Alex(10:58:25 PM): they asked what i was doing though
Alex (10:58:35 PM): i just said eating lunch
Alex (10:58:46 PM): oh annnd
Alex(10:58:48 PM): today
Alex(10:58:53 PM): i got my first lunch detention
Me (10:59:03 PM): why
Alex (10:59:15 PM): i left after sols
Me (10:59:28 PM): as opposed to wht
Me (10:59:31 PM): they caught u?
Alex (10:59:48 PM): yeah
Alex (10:59:55 PM): well
Alex(10:59:55 PM): no
Alex (11:00:08 PM): after sols we were supposed to go to class right
Alex (11:00:12 PM): but i just dipped out
Me(11:00:26 PM): so u skipped?
Me (11:00:41 PM): why were u not like this when i was actually around
Alex (11:01:58 PM): i duno
Alex (11:02:19 PM): bc now my grades r better
Me (11:02:38 PM): keith is out
Alex (11:03:27 PM): oh nice
Me(11:03:54 PM): i was so fucking happy when i saw him
Me (11:03:58 PM): i was like shaking
Alex (11:05:14 PM): damn
Alex (11:05:24 PM): thats awesome
Me(11:05:34 PM): hes doing the same shit tho
Me (11:05:41 PM): and hes been back like a week
Me (11:05:47 PM): not even
Me (11:05:50 PM): a few days
Alex(11:06:31 PM): damn
Alex (11:06:42 PM): he really should be careful
Me (11:06:48 PM): he doesnt care
Me(11:07:03 PM): i asked hes like idc im going to do wht i want regardless of tht
Me (11:07:10 PM): he knows hell prbably go to jail again
Me (11:07:25 PM): hes like im going to do wht iwanna do
Me (11:08:18 PM): apparently he never got any of my letters or the books i tried to send him
Me (11:13:32 PM): thts the girl i wanted to fuck
Alex (11:13:51 PM): shes cure
Alex (11:13:53 PM): cute
Me(11:14:04 PM): yea
Me (11:14:33 PM): im like not happy right now
Me (11:14:41 PM): ive been really depressed today
Me (11:14:52 PM): i want to snap out of it
Alex (11:15:11 PM): know any reason for it
Alex (11:15:16 PM): or just eric?
Me (11:15:52 PM): tht and being scared of the future and the lack of stability(which is also just about having someone in my life)
Me(11:15:57 PM): i was thinking alot about family
Me(11:16:07 PM): like family is usually the stable thing in someones life
Me (11:16:15 PM): and also i wanted affection earlier and like
Me (11:16:26 PM): generally theres supposed to be an abundance from ur family
Me (11:16:32 PM): at least a healthy one
Me (11:16:52 PM): so u dont go to other places for it or so u dont shrivel emotionally
Me (11:17:09 PM): but like most ppl end up only thro a bf or gf
Me (11:17:17 PM): or casual sex
Me (11:17:25 PM): sometimes good friends but not always
Me (11:17:36 PM): and idk just a general lonliness
Alex(11:18:15 PM): well your family pretty much wont
Alex(11:18:31 PM): esp since you uprooted
Me (11:18:52 PM): thts not my only reason
Me (11:18:57 PM): its more the lonliness thing
Me (11:19:02 PM): and scared of future
Me (11:19:05 PM): and lack of stability
Me (11:19:13 PM): thats fucking with me
Me (11:19:16 PM): and eric
Alex (11:19:35 PM): ah
Alex (11:19:37 PM): gotcha
Alex (11:19:51 PM): well i never pictured u to be scared of the future
Me (11:20:08 PM): its like
Me (11:20:20 PM): i know i need people
Me (11:20:35 PM): and i dont know how thigns re going to work so theres someone there
Me (11:20:39 PM): i cant be alone
Me(11:20:46 PM): im not talking in a romantic sense either
Me (11:20:54 PM): i mean i can but i dont do well
Alex(11:20:57 PM): your scared of being alone?
Me (11:21:05 PM): im not scared like in  a practical sense
Me (11:21:09 PM): um
Me (11:21:11 PM): i guess
Me(11:21:14 PM): yea
Alex(11:21:22 PM): ah ok
Alex (11:21:29 PM): do you know why
Me (11:21:59 PM): um because those connections are important to me
Alex(11:22:16 PM): what connections
Me (11:22:25 PM): with human beings
Me (11:22:33 PM): im not a hermit
Me (11:22:48 PM): who can like disassociate from any semeblence of civ
Me (11:22:55 PM): and be fine
Me (11:23:05 PM): i like friends and lovers
Me (11:23:28 PM): i find happiness with other people not objects
Alex(11:26:17 PM): well im gonna head off
Alex (11:26:18 PM): night
oohgoodgravy signed off at 11:40:24 PM.
oohgoodgravy is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

thats the fucking last straw
linkI Need A Hit

nice guys dont always finish last [Jun. 2nd, 2008|10:03 pm]
[Nowhere |back in va]
[Fuck You |heartbroken and horny]
[XTC |bright eyes/ the black keys]

i dont know how im going to get over this one
this one hit HARD 
linkI Need A Hit

(no subject) [Feb. 1st, 2008|10:32 am]
[Fuck You |depresseddepressed]
[XTC |Nas]

 I want my best friend back
linkI Need A Hit

(no subject) [Jan. 26th, 2008|11:44 pm]
[Fuck You |distresseddistressed]
[XTC |mammarys and cammrys]

im  fucking scared
linkI Need A Hit

(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2007|03:32 pm]
[Fuck You |crushedcrushed]
[XTC |npr]

                                      im fucked

and being lovesick hurts
linkI Need A Hit

(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2007|02:16 am]
[Fuck You |crappycrappy]

linkI Need A Hit

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]